Poopin' Around Town

A guide to where to poop while out and about primarily in and around Boston, MA.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

AA Flight 1070 - Boston, MA

AA Flight 1070 - 4.7

A bit of a road trip got The Shit Critic thinking...How viable an option is the lavatory while flying the friendly skies? Is it just for #1 and those applying to join the mile high club? Or is it actually a place where the travelling Joe can sit on the John and relax. This American Airlines flight from Dallas to Boston was completely sold out and definitely should provide an answer to the questions above.

Location: This plane is an S80 which has three bathrooms. One is in the first class section and two are at the rear end of the plane. Unless you're in first class or in one of the rear rows, it might be a bit tough to get there. Lot of potential obstacles on airplanes in the aisles. That said, its a common location for airplanes.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Accessibility: Well, for the sake of this review, we're assuming you're past security and on the plane. Once on the plane, it's there for the taking, barring turbulence and the beverage cart.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Number of Stalls: Bit of a grey area here. If you're an economy class passenger there are 2 restrooms for 120 passengers, while the 16 first class passengers share one other restroom. Perhaps you could sneak up to the first class section, who knows. That said, not the best ratio and the overwhelming majority of patrons in the latrines will be tinkling.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Stall Quality: We're obviously talking about some of the smallest stalls known to man. There is a sink within reach of the tiny toilet. Obviously there isn't room for any sort of expansive bathroom here, just the bare essentials. The seat itself is very small, perhaps designed with kids in mind. The paper towels were pretty nice and there is also an air nozzle identical to the one you'll find above your seat on a plane.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Toiler Paper: The folks on American Airlines' Airplane Bowel Movement Committee (ABMC) though it would be best to provide some rough one ply TP. At least there were two rolls of it...
Grade: 3 out of 10

Cleanliness: This bathroom was pretty clean. Part of why this might be is that there is a bit of a stigma about using bathrooms on an airplane. People just don't like it. All in all, pretty decent here.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Scent: I'd guess that bathrooms on airplanes generally smell better than you'd imagine. I mean really, who shits on a plane anyway? So since that is less of a worry, there is potential for these bathrooms to smell pretty badly.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Flush: Airplane toilets have somewhat interesting flushes. When you first get to the toilet, there isn't water sitting in a bowl. Just more of a metallic bowl. When you flush, and you do so by pressing a button to the left of the toilet, the bottom of the toilet opens up and a rush of blue liquid comes and sweeps it all away. I'm sure the blue stuff is a sort of disinfectant or odor eating type of deal. Either way, give yourself a courtesy flush or you might stink up the joint in a jiffy.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Aesthetics: Well, you're on an airplane, so there isn't much in the way of decoration. The bathroom is noisy and has a tendency have a rhythmic vibration from the engines or some other feature of the airplane. Not an easy place to concentrate if that's what you're looking to do.
Grade: 3 out of 10

The Bottom Line: Take it from The Shit Critic, it wasn't all that bad of a place to get down to business. Certainly a small space and there is always the possibility of a wait especially on a longer flight. If you need to take a load off, I'd give it the green light. Perhaps a bit of an adventure, but better than squirming in seat 31 F for a few more hours.


At 10:37 AM, Blogger Rusty said...

Amazing Mr. Shit Critic, just amazing. Bravo, kudos ... whatever.


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