Spike's Junkyard Dogs - Allston, MA

Spike's - 6.0



A good hot dog is hard to find. A great hot dog near impossible. If you're looking for the Shit Critic's personal favorites, go to the store and buy a Deutschmacher. Very tasty! Otherwise, head out to one of Spike's Junkyard Dogs 10 locations in south eastern New England. I assure you that their dogs will put the Fenway Frank to shame. This particular Spikes is located at 108 Brighton Ave. in Allston, MA.

Location: Once you're inside Spike's, head to the left and you'll run into the bathroom. Since Spike's is such a small place, it's as easy as could be to find.
Grade: 10 out of 10

Accessibility: Spike's is a friendly place, and while I doubt they invite folks to come right in and use their facilities, it really should be a problem to get in.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Number of Stalls: Continuing with the trend of recent reviews, this is a one person bathroom. There's one toilet and no urinal, a pretty standard set up for most restrooms like this.
Grade: 4 out of 10


Stall Quality: This bathroom was very cold, air from the outside was likely coming in through the one brick wall, or any of the 3 walls that had siding. This spot was not intended to be a bathroom. Aside from that, it's much of what you'd expect from a place like Spike's.
Grade: 5 out of 10



Toiler Paper: They had one industrial sized roll of two-ply. Was decent stuff, though there wasn't any back up in sight and there also wasn't a lot left. Leaves some room for worry.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Cleanliness: The restroom here was clean. I wouldn't eat off their floor, but they've done a good job on this front.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Scent: This might sound a bit weird, but it smelled cold in there. I'm not sure cold has a certain smell. There wasn't any spray or an aeroguard, and considering the kind of food they serve, it has the potential to be a disaster
Grade: 4 out of 10

Flush: When I saw this toilet, I doubted it's flush off the bat. It just looked like the kind of toilet that has a pretty blah flush. On the contrary, it was an above average flush.
Note: Never judge a toilet by it's appearance.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Aesthetics: This is a bathroom fir for a junkyard dog. That said, they could have done a bit of decorating or something to spruce the restroom up as they've done with the rest of the space.
Grade: 3 out of 10


The Bottom Line: This is an accessible and easy to find restroom. That is a major part of the battle if you're around town. This is a good target if you're in the Allston area. Only thing holding you back is a line.

McDonald's - Boston, MA

McDonald's - 6.2

Growing up, I wondered how many people McDonald's would serve in my lifetime. I remember seeing the signs at each individual restaurant saying something like "88 Billion Served". Come to find out, McDonald's serves about 54 million people daily. I don't think much of a further explanation is required. This particular McDonald's is located at 949 Commonwealth ave in Boston across the street from the Agganis Arena.

Location: After walking in from Comm Ave, the restrooms are directly to the left with the men's room to the far left and the ladies room to its right. Couldn't be any easier to find.
Grade: 10 out of 10

Accessibility: This Mickey D's is somewhat more accessible than some of it's other big city brethren and sistren. When I visited, there was no lock and no one to stop me from walking right in.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Number of Stalls: There was one men's room and one women's room. There was just one toilet, no urinal. Not the best set up, pretty standard for a low end bathroom.
Grade: 4 out of 10


Stall Quality: As you'd expect, the McDonald's bathroom isn't the highest quality bathroom in the hub. It's very plain and just there to serve a purpose, no frills. The seat was also a bit loose. Someone must have rocked it!
Grade: 4 out of 10



Toiler Paper: They had 2-ply with friendly little dots. Pretty decent as far as the toilet paper goes. It's also well shielded from everyones greasy fingers....
Grade: 7 out of 10

Cleanliness: I'd imagine they have someone check the restrooms here once an hour or so, so they're pretty clean, though i anticipate that isn't the case during peak hours. The floor was a bit wet as well.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Scent: They did have an aeroguard to combat whatever stenches occupy this space otherwise. There wasn't much of a smell at all.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Flush: This was an ok flush, nothing notable.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Aesthetics: A very boring and all business bathroom. In reality, people aren't coming here for the bathroom and most patrons are in and out pretty quick. It's as bland as can be.
Grade: 4 out of 10


The Bottom Line: While bathrooms don't get more boring than this, it's worth a shot if you're in a bind. It's low commitment, easy to access and is likely to be passably clean. If you're on Comm Ave, at the Paradise or checking out a BU hockey game, keep it on your list of options. The grade is as high as it is almost entirely due to the accessibility and location.

Deluxe Town Diner - Watertown, MA

Deluxe Town Diner - 3.6

If you think that there are no good diners in the Boston area, here's proof that there are. The Deluxe Town Diner, located at 627 Mt. Auburn St. in Watertown and is open from 7 AM to 10 PM daily. They have a full menu of fantastic food, serve large portions at fair prices. If you're looking for a new breakfast joint and haven't been here, it's definitely worth your while.


Location: Once you're in the diner, you'll have to head to your right. Turn left at the end of the counter and then the walk towards the back end of the restaurant. About 10 feet after turning left, turn left again into a small hallway. The bathrooms are on your right once you've entered the hallway. Tough to find if you don't know where they are.
Grade: 2 out of 10

Accessibility: There is often a line just to get into the restaurant at peak times so there might be a bit of a crowd to get through. As well, there is a host at the door. Most of the patrons and all of the staff are polite, so it's a workable situation.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Number of Stalls: This is another establishment that has a single, non stall bathroom as it's sole restroom. There is one toilet and no urinal limiting your options.
Grade: 3 out of 10


Stall Quality: The stall is a thin and at the time of this review, very cold room. The toilet itself is very low to the ground and there are some cracks in the floor below it letting more cold air in. This bathroom is definitely in need of some remodeling.
Grade: 3 out of 10




Toiler Paper: The TP here is actually one ply, pretty low grade stuff.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Cleanliness: This bathroom is reasonably clean, though doesn't have a particularly clean feel, kind of fits in with the general theme of the restroom.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Scent: The scent here wasn't too great. Nothing awful, but definitely not the most pleasant. There is a window and thus some opportunity for fresh air, but this bathroom as mentioned above is really in need of some upgrading which could help with the scent.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Flush: The flush here was completely average. Sadly, one of the high points of this bathroom.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Aesthetics: This bathroom is very plain and boring. The Shit Critic has somewhat of an affinity for the color brown, so the color scheme of the bathroom is appreciated. Other than that, I'd venture to guess that no improvements/renovations have been made in a looooong time.
Grade: 3 out of 10

The Bottom Line: There isn't another way to say it. This bathroom is one of the worst to be reviewed on this site. If you're heading out for breakfast, this diner is highly recommended. If you're going to need to #2, this place will work, but there are many better options.

Deep Ellum - Allston, MA

Deep Ellum - 7.0

Deep Ellum is a new bar located at 477 Cambridge St. in Allston, MA. This place has changed hands a few times in the last few years and was most recently called Reel Bar. Now, in the hands of new ownership, they provide one of the most diverse and expansive beer selections in Boston as well as a great food menu. The name Deep Ellum pays tribute to a neighborhood in Dallas, TX.


Location: After entering Deep Ellum, head straight back along side the bar and into the small hallway at the back end of the bar. The men's room is the second door on the right. Pretty obvious location after seeing the layout.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Accessibility: This is a bar so you'll need to be older than 21 to grace this bathroom with your excrement, other than that, it's a cake walk.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Number of Stalls: This bathroom is one room unto itself. There is a urinal and one toilet, so it's slightly more equipped than many of the other restrooms sans stalls.
Grade: 6 out of 10


Stall Quality: It's surprisingly nice actually. Not a lot of frills, though a nice looking bathroom and one you'll likely be comfortable getting down to business in.
Grade: 7 out of 10




Toiler Paper: Stock and standard two ply, two rolls well covered by a plastic dispenser. All quiet on the western front....
Grade: 7 out of 10

Cleanliness: This bathroom is pretty clean. The floors, by the sink, you name it... wasn't completely spotless, but was definitely clean.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Scent: Maybe the nose doesn't always know, but I smelled some fresh paint. I don't think they had just painted, but there was a bit of a scent. It was somewhat pleasant! They also have a scent dispenser if you will.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Flush: Nothing remarkable for a flush, pretty middle of the road.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Aesthetics: The bathroom here has somewhat of an almost classy checkerboard vibe. I liked it.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Extra Credit:
Paper Towels exposed on the sink: -1

The Bottom Line: This is a nice bathroom in a great bar. The biggest downside is that there it's all in one room, so it might be tough to get a seat in there. Otherwise, you're in the clear.