Poopin' Around Town

South Street Diner - Boston, MA

2010-01-16T17:04:00.005-05:00

South Street Diner - 5.3

One of my favorite parts about living in the northeast is the variety of old fashioned diners. Suburban New England is full of great diners, but it is often tough to find one right in the city. The South Street Diner is open 24 hours and located right by south station at 178 Kneeland St.
The diner, built in 1947, has tons of history with scenes from Hiding Out with Jon Cryer (classic 80's film) and Second Sight with John Larroquette and much more importantly, Bronson Pinchot !

For Bronson Pinchot moment of zen, click here.

Location: The bathroom is right where you'd expect it to be after walking in. It's at the far end of the diner, in between the counter and the tables. In other words, next to the jukebox. Pretty intuitive.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Accessibility: There's a lot of people coming in and out of the south street diner, especially late at night. During the slower hours, it should still be reasonably easy to make your way in and use the rest room.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Number of Stalls: As far as I could tell, there are no stalls. More accurately, there is just one room. And that room is both the men's and women's bathroom. eek.
Grade: 1 out of 10

Stall Quality: Ahem? Do you mean room quality? OH! RIGHT! The room is a bit on the small side, with a toilet that is off centered. That usually worries me. There is an effective lock though.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Toiler Paper: Could be an issue here. There was one roll and it wasnt covered up. I did not see other rolls readily available and in an emergency, yo might need to tap into that extra roll.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Cleanliness: During my visit, the bathroom was clean. It was not during their peak hours. There will be normal wear and tear when theyre busy, but this seems like a good sign.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Scent: Nothing noticeable - BUT - as it is one restroom for the whole diner it could be a nightmare if someone unleashes.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Flush: The flush started out with a fury and teeters out somewhat after that. It should get the job done.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Aesthetics: Surprisingly, there was some effort put in to make the bathroom a bit interesting. There's a nice mural on the back of the door as well as some framed art, somewhat in the style of a layered diorama. I like the effort and the art itself.
Grade: 8 out of 10

The Bottom Line: There are some plusses and minuses here. As for the plusses, walking in is easy and the restroom will likely be functional. However, there is just one restroom for the whole restaurant. The diner is great, but I wouldnt necessarily use restroom unless I had to or it wasn't busy in there.

Music to listen to whilst one "Has A Stew Goin"

2008-05-23T11:19:00.001-04:00

First off, my sincere apologies for the lack of updates to Poopin' Around Town over the last few months. That said, look for more frequently updated content along with some new features - not just reviews.

Ok. Onto much more serious matters. I have put together a playlist that might come in handy should someone "gettin' down to business" need a little extra......motivation? Who knows, maybe you're one of the folks who likes to leave the water on while making a deposit. On a side note, I think those are probably the same people who sleep with noise machines.

Feel free to check out the Muxtape below and let me know if it suits your need. None of these songs are really about the subject matter at hand, so it'll take a bit of imagination.

If you're not familiar with Muxtape, just click on the link below and the mix will pop up. You can stream it and won't have to download any software. It's super easy.

http://poopinaroundtown.muxtape.com/

Enjoy!
The Shit Critic

Burlington Mall - Burlington, MA

2008-01-26T18:39:00.000-05:00

Burlington Mall - 7.6

This might be the finest mall in the Boston metro area. There is really one reason for this:

Chik-Fil-A

Don't bother going on a Sunday - They're closed! You'll still be able to walk around the mall and eat from the other restaurants in the food court, but let's face it, it wouldn't be the same. If you eat fast food, and it's safe to assume that if you read this blog you do, Chik-Fil-A is an experience that you need to.....experience? Yeah something like that. The Burlington Mall is located at 75 Middlesex Turnpike in Burlington, MA about 20 minutes out of Boston where I-95 meets up with Route 3.

Location: When you're in a mall and in need of the facilities, head to the food court. Pretty logical! This should be pretty easy to find, located on the upper level.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Accessibility: Since you're in a mall, everything is accessible!
Grade: 10 out of 10

Number of Stalls: They have ten stalls (two handicapped) and a bunch of urinals. Even on a busy Saturday you should have no problem finding a seat.
Grade: 10 out of 10

Stall Quality: The stalls themselves were pretty decent. A bit more than you'd expect from the mall restroom. I'm guessing that they're new within the last 10 years or so.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Toiler Paper: Two rolls of two ply industrial. Locked up nice and tight. Just the way we like it!
Grade: 8 out of 10

Cleanliness: While the bathroom wasn't spotless, there were two mall employees there mopping and generally taking care of business. I'd bet more often than not it's pretty decent in here.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Scent: Over the time that this humble site has existed
Grade: 7 out of 10

Flush: The flush here was nothing to write home about. I think that as long as you don't make it work too hard, you should be all set.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Aesthetics: Again, for a mall bathroom, it didn't seem all that bad since it was reasonable new. What would you expect? Beer posters? No. This isn't a bar!
Grade: 6 out of 10

The Bottom Line: Mall bathrooms seem like a decent option. Chances are you'll find an open stall and hopefully one that isn't too messy. Access is certainly easy and you can hope there might be a Chik-Fil-A nearby. Just not on Sunday. Jesus!

Pizzeria Regina - Boston, MA

2007-12-09T17:01:00.001-05:00

Pizzeria Regina - 4.8

Boston is known for a lot of things. The Freedom Trail, Harvard, The Sox and Pats, Great Beer, the list goes on and on really. One thing Boston does not have is great pizza. Frankly, the pizza around Boston sucks with very few exceptions. The biggest exception to the rule is Pizzeria Regina. This octogenarian establishment has some of the most authentic and tasty brick oven pizza that this critic has ever had. Pizzeria Regina is located at 11 1/2 Thacher Street in Boston's North End.

Location: After walking in through the main entrance, the men's room is in the back left corner of the restaurant. It's pretty much where you'd expect it to be though isn't visible from the front.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Accessibility: So, Boston natives and tourists alike really seem to like coming here. That said, there is often a line down the block - literally. There isn't room inside the restaurant for folks to wait, so people wind up waiting outside. Also, one of the biggest tables where large parties sit is by the bathroom. Basically, it's not the easiest to get to.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Number of Stalls: One stall here. Well, It's really half of a stall. there is also one urinal. Would love to see a restaurant that has this many customers have more, but that's the nature of being in an old fashioned building.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Stall Quality: A bit of a smaller toilet in this tiny, tiny stall. It couldn't have been more than 15 inches tall which is a bit awkward. There's hardly room to stand up and turn around. At least the lock works, right?
Grade: 3 out of 10

Toiler Paper: This was well guarded, industrial one ply. Nothing wrong with that!
Grade: 7 out of 10

Cleanliness: The restroom was reasonably clean, though it didn't feel particularly clean. Of note is a card that they have available in the restroom that states "If this restroom needs attention, please give this card to any employee". Hey, you see something new every day.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Scent: It seems like a lot of effort was put into making the restroom pleasant as far as the scent goes. In all, it was pretty normal. Perhaps they could let some of the fine scents from the kitchen in there?
Grade: 7 out of 10

Flush: The flush here was nothing to write home about. I think that as long as you don't make it work too hard, you should be all set.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Aesthetics: Nothing. Plain and boring. industrial. Zero effort here.
Grade: 2 out of 10

The Bottom Line: If this were a blog about pizza, we'd be close to a ten. Since it's a blog about poopin' around town, this place isn't looking so hot. Just not that accessible and the restroom itself is tiny and awkward. I'd look for other options if in dire need and on the outside looking in.

News Update - Chongqing, China

2007-07-08T21:24:00.000-04:00

They're flush with pride in Chongqing, where a recently opened porcelain palace features an Egyptian facade, soothing music and more than 1,000 toilets spread out over 30,000 square feet.

The entrance to the public toilet has an Egyptian facade.

Officials in the southwestern Chinese city plan to ask Guinness World Records to have the free four-story public bathroom listed as the world's largest, state-run China Central Television reported Friday.

"We are spreading toilet culture. People can listen to gentle music and watch TV," said Lu Xiaoqing, an official with the Yangrenjie, or "Foreigners Street," tourist area where the bathroom is. "After they use the bathroom they will be very, very happy."

Footage aired on CCTV showed people milling about the sprawling facility and washing their hands at trough sinks. For open-aired relief, there's a cluster of stalls without a roof.

Some urinals are uniquely shaped, including ones inside open crocodile mouths and several topped by the bust of a woman resembling the Virgin Mary.

There are also plans to build a supermarket nearby, which will sell toilet-related items, CCTV reported.

Source: AP/CNN

Flying Fish Cafe - Wellfleet, Ma

2007-06-24T16:54:00.000-04:00

Flying Fish Cafe - 6.8

There's not much better than a summer stroll up the cape for a weekend. Many folks get right over the Sagamore Bridge and are content that they are "on" the cape. Many others are eager to take one of the ferries out to P-Town and take part of some of the best people watching this side of a stroll down South Beach. Few and far between are the folks who wind up somewhere in the middle. Those willing to make the 2 or so hour drive from Boston will find a some hidden gems including the Flying Fish Cafe. Opened for breakfast, lunch and dinner, this quaint cafe offers great food (as well as a full bar) at reasonable prices. Did I mention that the food is great? If you're looking for some food and driving up the cape, this place is definitely worth a stop. The Flying Fish Cafe is located at 29 Briar Lane in Wellfleet, MA.

Location: Head through the entrance and turn right. There will be a small seating area in front of you which you'll walk towards. After you finish passing by the counter, the bathroom is diagonally ahead of you and to your left next to a refrigerator. There are a few hand written signs, and while not hidden, it's not right out in the open either.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Accessibility: There is usually a lot of traffic here and walking in and using the facilities shouldn't be too big of an issue.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Number of Stalls: They only have one bathroom with one toilet, that's all. It fits the building and you wouldn't really expect it to have too much more.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Stall Quality: The toilet was a bit short and small. That was really the biggest problem with the bathroom. Otherwise you're in pretty good shape.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Toiler Paper: What kind of toilet paper do you think they have in Cape Cod?? Quilted two-ply of course! Wasn't protected, but there was back up right on top of the tank, so we're good to go!
Grade: 9 out of 10

Cleanliness: This place was pretty tidy. Perhaps folks like using a well designed garbage can?
Grade: 7 out of 10

Scent: In most restrooms, simply opening a window doesn't cut it. At the Flying Fish Cafe, it sure does. Perhaps there is something in the air in Wellfleet? Or perhaps the city air just sucks that much. I have a hunch it's both.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Flush: Small town type of place, small toilet. That's the logic anyway. To be honest, I pretty much had this bathroom pegged before walking into it (and those who I was with can testify to this!). Anyway, wouldn't some large industrial toilet seem a bit out of place? Anyway, back to the flush. It wasn't too bad.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Aesthetics: They put some effort in here. If you are going to put in some, why not put in even more and make it great? It's a small room and the whole place feels relatively quaint. Aside from the decorative garbage can, their bright pink soap is in one of their maple syrup holders.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Extra Credit:
Plunger: +1

The Bottom Line: This place is worth a stop. If you're looking for some grub and need to use the facilities, this place will fill both needs. You'll leave a happy camper.

Letter to the Editor!

2007-06-20T22:20:00.000-04:00

Over the last several months and 30 plus reviews of restrooms in and around the Boston area, I felt it was time to really branch out. Ok, perhaps that's over-stating things a bit. Anyway, look for some new features (hopefully) to the blog. All ideas are welcome, feel free to email The Shit Critic anytime.

Anyway, to start things off, we have an email from a reader who will help illustrate why Poopin' Around Town is so damn practical! This is an email I received on 6/16/07.

Dear Poop Critic,

I stumbled upon your blog while trying to find the address for the Brighton Stop n Shop. I will remember not to use the facilities there. I live in NYC now (think old delicate plumbing and scant seat covers), but I did live in Boston for a few years in grad school.

And while I was in grad school, I was diagnosed with this nasty, genetic poop disease. It's called Ulcerative Colitis and it means I have this mega over-zealous immune system that reacts to the normal bacteria in my large intestine and makes messy, bloody ulcers in the walls of my colon. Gross, right? Anyway, the worst part about this disease is that when it's bad, it means you have to poop frequently and urgently. Oh so very urgently. I'm all good now--it's gone into remission--but for nearly a year in Boston, I lived in constant fear of pooping my pants. Sometimes there would be very little warning. My whole life was one big pooping-preoccupation. I once yelled at the ticket taker at the Loews on the common because he wouldn't let me past to the bathrooms because I hadn't purchased my ticket yet. I actually screamed I'M GOING TO BLOODY DIARRHEA ON THIS FLOOR, YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! It was a real low point in my life.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I enjoyed your blog and that's likely a very valuable resource for all people with or without digestive woes. And also, these are my top Boston poop sanctuaries: The Omni Parker Hotel, Trader Joe's in Coolidge Corner, and the Marriot Hotel at the Kendall Square stop in Cambridge.

best wishes,
(anonymous to protect the writer's name)

Ahhh Poopin' Around Town. What an adventure!

- The Shit Critic

Au Bon Pain - Cambridge, MA

2007-06-11T22:02:00.000-04:00

Au Bon Pain - 5.0

Everywhere you go in Boston, you won't be far from an Au Bon Pain. With their roots in Boston, Au Bon Pain has over 200 outlets in the United States as well as South Korea, Thailand and Taiwan. If ever in need of a quick stop to get some food, they have it all from fresh sandwiches to croissants and soups to salads, it's a great option. Thing is, most of you knew that. The real question we need to answer is whether it's an option if you need to drop the kids off at the pool, so to speak. This Au Bon Pain is located between Central and Harvard at 1100 Mass Ave in Cambridge.

Location: After entering, most of the restaurant will be right in front of you. Pass the cash register on your right and turn right immediately after it. The restrooms are in that hallway, ladies first then the gents.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Accessibility: There are a lot of folks going in and out of Au Bon Pain and the majority of the workers are busy dealing with customers. Should be a pretty easy in and out.
Grade: 9 out of 10

Number of Stalls: It's just a one room, one toilet type of job for the men's room. We'd prefer if there was a urinal to prevent some of the #1 folks from pissing on our seat!
Grade: 3 out of 10

Stall Quality: The bathroom itself wasn't all that bad. Sometimes you wind up in these one room restrooms and there is no sink. Maybe there is no paper towels. While not exceptional, the restroom here has the bare essentials.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Toiler Paper: Sprechen-Sie Rough? One ply at it's worst. There also wasn't a lot of it (as you can see above) and the toilet paper that was there was completely exposed.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Cleanliness: This place wasn't too clean. Full trash can, toilet paper on the floor, general ugliness. It sounds like there is the potential for a good haiku here, no?
Grade: 4 out of 10

Scent: It was a bit stale in here. Not that The Shit Critic expects roses, but something a little better would be nice.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Flush: I'd expect an industrial toilet to do a bit more. It wasn't exceptionally weak, but I also wasn't the most confident that it was going to swallow a ton of toilet paper and a "Theo".
Grade: 5 out of 10

Aesthetics: This bathroom was a bit not the most asthetically pleasing bathroom. There was little to no effort put into making the bathroom nice for the folks who might have to have a not so nice moment inside of it.
Grade: 4 out of 10

The Bottom Line: This is a usable restroom. It might be a bit messy, and it might not be interesting. Barring it being in use, keep it in mind on a stroll down Mass Ave. That said, don't be shy about exploring other options.

Sherman Cafe - Somerville, MA

2007-06-04T13:44:00.000-04:00

Sherman Cafe - 6.2

The Sherman Cafe is a small coffee shop and restaurant in the Union Square neighborhood of Somerville. It's a popular spot for laptop users to camp out, with an array of small tables and a nook with a well-worn couch for a more relaxed visit. The cafe's menu focuses on coffee drinks, tea, and also sells some locally made bottled sodas to drink and popular food items
include sandwiches, bagels, salads and pastries. The Pissing Bandit recommends the bacon, cheddar and green apple sandwich on sourdough. The food here is pretty great, but should it go right through you, or should last night's PBR overindulgence catch up to, head to the restroom. The Sherman Cafe is located at 257 Washington St in Somerville.

Location: The restroom is where you would probably expect it to be, in the rear to the left. This isn't a very big cafe so there aren't many places in which to hide a bathroom.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Accessibility: The cafe is mostly self-service, so there's no nosy hostesses to sneak past. There is one obstacle for the mobility-challenged; the bathroom is a step up from the floor level.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Number of Stalls: There's only one restroom here, so if it's in use you may have to wait a few minutes. Because there's only one, if you're a female who gets uppity about seats being left up, the unisex status of this bathroom may not be up to your standards.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Stall Quality: It's small, which can be a minus, but its size clearly implies that this restroom is meant for one person only; nobody is going to come in and wait for you to finish your business. The throne itself is also small and appears to be a low-flush model.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Toiler Paper: The paper here is actually fairly soft. It's not ultra-quilted high end paper but it's not that rough, thin stuff you all too often find. One roll is on a free-standing spool that provides easy access. I've never seen one of these before and I think it's a nice touch. Another back-up roll was on top of the tank.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Cleanliness: Considering they only had one small restroom, you'd think it would be pretty easy to keep it clean. But when The Pissing Bandit paid a visit the throne was in need of a little cleaning. Other than the toilet the place was in pretty decent shape, and all paper products were well stocked and not on the floor.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Scent: Although the toilet didn't look like something you could see your reflection in, and also considering the sole restroom's heavy use, it had no foul odors at all. It also didn't smell like lilacs either - pretty neutral here.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Flush: This little shitter has seen better days. I would not want to taking any mega-dumps in this toilet. Not only is the flush weak but you have to hold down the handle for about 10 seconds just to get the flush going. Something tells me this toilet could be easily put out of order, and you'll quickly be outed as the culprit if that's the case.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Aesthetics: It's in this category that Sherman's restroom really shines. Rare is a bathroom that provides any reading material beyond "Employees Must Wash Hands..." or "For a good time call..." But in the Sherman's WC the walls are adorned with pages of Boston's beloved late 90's redundant news source The Weekly Week, which was published for several years as a Boston-centric version of the Onion. This is that rare restroom where you actually might spend more time than necessary in.
Grade: 10 out of 10

The Bottom Line: While this isn't a bathroom you'd want to retire to, newspaper in hand, after a chili eating contest, it's certainly worth a visit to check out the Weekly Week walls even if it's just to wash your hands.

Contributed by: The Pissin' Bandit

Francesca's Espresso Bar - Boston, MA

2007-05-23T21:47:00.000-04:00

Francesca's Espresso Bar - 7.9

It was by accident that I discovered Francesca’s Espresso Bar in the South End, but am I glad that I did! Killing time on Tremont Street while waiting for a friend, I saw this little café, which looked cute but not too fancy or swanky like a lot of the other places around the area, and they offered ice cream, so how could I not go in? The atmosphere is laid back and the small café looks like it could be a great place to get a sandwich/cup of joe/ice cream etc, read the paper and relax. Located at 564 Tremont Street in the South End, Francesca’s had a mean hot fudge sundae and is a place I plan on visiting again!

Location: The cafe in general is pretty small. You walk in, and there is a counter where you can order and to the right of the counter, there it is. It even has a sign on it to let you know.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Accessibility: Accessibility is pretty easy here – I basically just walked in to the joint and in to the bathroom and no one really seemed to notice or care. The only issue is that it is near where the people who work there go in and out with food, so it is a little clustered.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Number of Stalls:There aren’t any stalls – it is a one toilet unisex bathroom. Obviously, if it is already occupied, you are as they say, shit out of luck. However, if you need privacy, then this is your place to go, because you’ll be all alone!
Grade: 5 out of 10

Stall Quality: This restroom was pretty big. You could probably have a small dance party in there. There was handles near the toilet so if you are elderly, incapacitated or even just needed to hold on for dear life, you could.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Toiler Paper: Standard industrial 2-ply, safely guarded in a big plastic dispenser. Had one of those giant rolls in it, was only half way done. Didn’t really see any back up in there, but you can see inside the dispenser so you should know if you are running low.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Cleanliness: Overall pretty clean – a nice garbage can for disposing of paper towels and other junk. No real mess anywhere.
Grade: 9 out of 10

Scent: No gross scents – could almost smell coffee etc from out in the café. Overall, pretty pleasant.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Flush: Standard small business style toilet, no industrial power flushing but no doubt that if it was brown you could flush it down.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Aesthetics: This was my favorite part of the whole experience! By far, the most interesting art work/decoration of any bathroom I have seen. Sitting across from the toilet is little table and glued to it is a sculpture of broken coffee mugs etc the waitstaff has broken, with the names of who broke each piece on it with a sharpie. It was so neat! In addition, there are little guest checks with sharpie stick figure drawings of people. So artsy, so much fun stuff to look at!
Grade: 9 out of 10

Extra Credit: Plunger, just in case you need to make an ice cream sundae of your own. +1

The Bottom Line: Walking around the South End on a warm summer/spring night can be a delightful experience, and whether you’ve just had dinner somewhere else or are just looking for a good place for lunch/coffee/ice cream, then you should wander in here like I did. They even have a rack with a selection of local publications if you need some reading material, with your coffee or in the john!

Contributed by: 2 Ply Pi

Walden Pond - Concord, MA

2007-05-13T15:06:00.000-04:00

Walden Pond - 7.0

Walden Pond is one of Boston's least talked about attractions. Made famous by Henry David Thoreau's transcendental experiment in the 1840's (c'mon, you remember 11th grade English class, don't you?), Walden Pond is a state park with a kettlehole and miles of walking trails. Walden Pond is one of two kettle pond's in Boston, bonus points to the first person to name the other, leave the answer in the comments section or email the Shit Critic. Anyway, Walden Pond was also one of the more popular summer destinations for Boston residents at the turn of the century. Walden Pond is located at 915 Walden Street in Concord, MA, about a 15 or so minute drive from Boston proper.

Location: After parking your car, there is a restroom located by the park headquarters and gift shop. It's pretty easy to find, one of the only buildings you will see from the parking lot.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Accessibility: Aside from paying $5 to park there if you're driving, you could easily walk right into the area where the restrooms are. All in all, this is pretty easy.
Grade: 9 out of 10

Number of Stalls: There was only one stall here, along with some urinal action. We (yes, the royal "we"!) would always like to see at least two stalls.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Stall Quality: Have you ever been to a beach and used their toilet? This stall had a similar type of set up and feel to that. Nothing fancy, a place to do some business. Anyway, the toilet is a bit odd in that there is no water and just a tube. It all feeds into a recycling system of sorts, check out the diagram below for more info.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Toiler Paper: The toilet paper here was well cased, as opposed to sitting on the top shelf like it is at a lot of bathrooms like this. TP was decent, but decent considering that a place like Walden Pond might be prone to not having toilet paper at all because it might make for some waste/pollution.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Cleanliness: For a place with a surprisingly minimal staff, the restroom was kept pretty clean. Perhaps this is due to the nature of the folks who visit Walden Pond (Pun!). Either way, bathroom is in decent shape.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Scent: Once I was aware of the recycling system and lack of water in the toilet, I was shocked that there wasn't a stench. Have you ever pooped in Europe? They often have a bit of a shelf in the toilet where the poop lands. It's not that great of an idea from a scent standpoint. The folks here have managed to do a great job without using water.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Flush: Well, there wasn't one. But, you certainly shouldn't be embarrassed either. Kind of new ground for Poopin' Around Town. I guess we'll go with a decent default with bonus points added for their concern for their environment.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Aesthetics: This is a very plain, yet informative restroom. While walking in you'll certainly have some reading material regarding the way the bathroom works. otherwise, very blah and bland, which as a matter of preference, is not too good for me. I like my bathrooms to be a little bit busy in that sense.
Grade: 6 out of 10

The Bottom Line: Walden Pond is certainly worth a visit, and if you need to relieve yourself, I'd suggest you do so on your way in. Otherwise, I'm not too aware of any other 'official' bathrooms. The bathroom itself is interesting and easily accessible. On a nicer summer afternoon, there might be a bit of a wait. Otherwise, you're in the clear.

Museum Of Fine Arts - Boston, MA (Ladies Room!)

2007-05-08T12:21:00.000-04:00

Museum of Fine Arts - 7.2

Boston has a great deal of museums and other educational institutions that are not only fun, but help expand the old noggin. The Museum of Fine Arts, or MFA as it is known, is one of the city’s gems and is a fine place to spend your afternoon. Located at 465 Huntington Ave in Boston, it is accessible by taking the Green Line E train to the MFA stop and is open 7 days a week, although on some days they close at 5pm. They house a massive collection of art and relics from all sorts of periods and locations and have rotating special exhibits and galleries.

Location: If you enter the Museum from the West Entrance on the side of the building (which I believe until renovations to the building are complete this serves as the main entrance), the WC is directly to your left, through the coat/bag check area. The men’s and women’s room are pretty close together, so make sure you end up in the right one!
Grade: 9 out of 10

Accessibility: The ladies room at the MFA scores high here because you can actually access the bathroom without purchasing a ticket and entering the museum! That’s right, by using the West Entrance on the side of the building, the coatroom/restroom area is actually before the ticket kiosk, and therefore, if you were just in the neighborhood and needed to go, you could walk right in. The only downside is that you have to walk through the coat check area, so if there are a lot of people checking coats and bags/paying for parking etc, you’ll have to cut through the masses. If you actually enter the museum, there are plenty of smaller bathrooms hidden in less trafficky areas, but if you’re just coming off the street, this is your only bet.
Grade: 9 out of 10

Number of Stalls: The women’s room has 3 regular stalls and one handicapped, resulting in 4 total. A fair amount, depending on the time of day. When I initially entered the lavatory, I had to wait behind three other women, which, if you are in a dire situation, won’t suffice. But, when I came out, the entire restroom was empty. I guess that whole philosophy that women always go to the can in groves follows suit and that my arrival time was unfortunate. If you need privacy, perhaps not your best bet, place is pretty hopping. However, if you like the business because the hustle and bustle might drown out any embarrassing noises, then you’re pretty safe here.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Stall Quality: Stalls here are pretty typical standard faire, generic in size, color and design. The door worked fine on the unit I was in, so no problems trying to hold the door shut while juggling what to do with my purse, which is always the worst. No one wants to show the entire ladies room a sneak peak of the goods when you try to switch hands holding the door shut trying to get the toilet paper out, so luckily today I was safe from that embarrassment.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Toiler Paper: The toilet paper itself was your typical, industrial rough minimal 2-ply. Not the nice stuff you’d stock at home, but not a small little square of crappy 1-ply. The bonus here comes with the fact that the supply was well stocked, 4 full rolls in this crazy contraption of a dispenser. Not only was it full, but it was functional and none of the TP was dangling on the floor where it could get all gross. Heavily protected and at capacity, just in case you need a little extra.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Cleanliness: There are a lot of pluses and minuses here. The stall area was pretty clean for such a high traffic bathroom, didn’t really see any bits of toilet paper littered all over the floor to worry about getting stuck on the shoe (don’t want to be that girl!). However, I did happen to notice that the stall’s receptacle for the disposal feminine products wasn’t a little metal box attached to the stall wall but a larger garbage can slightly behind/to the right of the toilet. Decent location, but the lid of the garbage can was pretty gross looking, with some sort of film and nastiness all over it. If I had to throw something away there, I’d have to use the toilet paper as a barrier between me and the lid. The sink area could use a good once over as well – the garbages were pretty full with paper towels and the sinks had a lot of excess water. A good amount of paper towel overflow onto the floor as well. Neither of the paper towel dispensers worked, so I was forced to dry off from a roll that was just hanging out on the counter, which makes you second guess whether or not it was even worth washing your hands in the first place.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Scent: From the coat check you got a whiff of all those chemicals they use in bathrooms to prevent them smelling bad that just results in them smelling weird and semi-gross. Once inside, the scent of fresheners wasn’t that obnoxious and I didn’t really notice any odor inside the stall.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Flush: An automatic jobber here, which I’m generally a fan of in such high traffic areas, because who knows how many people have touched that flusher before you got there. Toilet flushed at appropriate times, which means when I got up and started to walk away, and not when I moved slightly to the side to get toilet paper, as some bathrooms do. Not much worse than when the automatic flusher goes off before you are off the pot resulting in a misting of toilet water. It's also worth noting that when a toilet flushes from the men's room, it shakes the toilet, so get ready for a little ride!
Grade: 8 out of 10

Aesthetics: You’d think being the Museum of Fine Arts they’d put up some prints or pictures or something. I mean, even the bathrooms on the mass pike have a little table with flowers on it. The walls and stalls were a boring tan/beige combination, not even any cool tile colors or interesting stall color. Florescent lighting just added to its overall blahness, not a place I’d go and hang that’s for sure.
Grade: 5 out of 10

The Bottom Line: Not only does the MFA provide a fine, cultural, educational experience here in Beantown, but you can also sneak in and use their bathroom if you ever feel the need, no questions asked! Perhaps they’ll open a photography exhibit there one day, featuring all the fine photos on this blog!

contributed by: 2-Ply Pi

Al's French Frys - South Burlington, VT

2007-05-06T22:36:00.000-04:00

Al's French Frys - 6.7

So, you've made it further up I-89 and have driven it up into the Burlington area, sounds like a nice little Saturday, eh? If you're looking for a unique stopping point for unloading and re-fueling so to speak, you might want to hit up Al's French Frys. With uncommonly inexpensive food and a menu consisting 20 or so simple and reasonably tasty options, it's worth your while to give this 60+ year old legend a whirl. Easily accessed from I-89, Al's is located at 1251 Williston Road in South Burlington, VT.

Location: Once you've walked through the doors, walk straight past the cash register and open kitchen area. After the cash registers, turn to your left and the restrooms are right there. They also hung a small sign from the ceiling indicating the restroom's location.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Accessibility: Al's is a pretty busy place, especially during the summer. It's be pretty easy to walk right in and use the bathroom without anyone noticing.
Grade: 9 out of 10

Number of Stalls: There is one stall and one urinal at Al's. It is a pretty high traffic issue, so it is a bit of a concern.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Stall Quality: This stall was equipped for a gymnast with not one but two "oh shit" bars. I had seen them in cars, but this was an interesting twist. Other than this, the stall was run of the mill.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Toiler Paper: The toilet paper was plentiful and well guarded. I remember it being two-ply and nothing spectacular, though the Shit Critic has a shitty memory sometimes and might be making that up.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Cleanliness: This is a pretty small bathroom and it would be pretty easy for someone to make a mess in. The bathroom was pretty clean overall, though it didn't feel particularly clean. Confusing, but accurate.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Scent: Not incredibly pleasant, but not offensive either. Meh.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Flush: Now this is weird. When you flushed the toilet a bubble type noise occurs. You know the sound an office water cooler makes. That caveat aside, the flush was pretty good. Not "next level shit", but also not going to let you down.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Aesthetics: Though Al's came into existence in the 1940's, it has a 50's style diner feel. The bathroom carries that on with the checker board floor. The bathroom isn't too pretty, but it fit's Al's general theme.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Extra Credit:
Plunger: +1

The Bottom Line: Al's is a cool place. Stop by, take a load off. East some cheap food and don't forget to grab an Ice Cream on the way out (go for the chocolate, not the black raspberry. The black raspberry is basically purple vanilla ice cream!). The bathroom might be busy, but otherwise shouldn't let you down.

Rest Stop - Sharon, VT

2007-04-26T19:28:00.000-04:00

Rest Stop in Sharon, VT - 7.2

So you live in or around Boston and the weather is getting nice. Sounds like a perfect time for a road trip up north. Perhaps Montreal? Maybe a little Vermont in your future? Perhaps a visit to the fine folks of Maine? New England is quite nice in the summer and there are quite a few options. With that in mind, the Shit Critic decided to do some advanced scouting and see what the route up towards Burlington, VT has to offer. This is the first post of two on where you might or might not want to stop off to release the hounds. This rest stop actually has a website and has a bit more to offer in general than your average rest stop. Check it out here. The rest stop in Sharon is located on I-89 North, just past the New Hampshire border and I-91 interchange. The stop is a bit over two hours out of Boston and approximately and about 75 Miles after the start of I-89.

Location: After walking through the main entrance, turn to your left. The rest stop is equipped with a family restroom as well as the traditional men's and women's. The men's room is the third of these three.
Grade: 9 out of 10

Accessibility: The beauty of the rest stop is that it's a place your supposed to stop and use the rest room. BRILLIANT!
Grade: 10 out of 10

Number of Stalls: There are three stalls here, one handicapped and two normal sized. There were also three urinals. Should be in good shape.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Stall Quality: The stalls here seemed like they were reasonably new and in good condition. I wouldn't have hesitations on this front. The stalls also feature simple locks and coat hangers.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Toiler Paper: I feel like the rest stop could have done better on the toilet paper front. They had pretty bland 2-ply. I figured the hippies up yonder would be into something a bit softer. The TP was well cased in a metal dispenser.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Cleanliness: The rest room was pretty clean for one that might have schmucks from all over the area visiting it. Some normal wear and tear, but all in all pretty decent.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Scent: While not overwhelming, this bathroom did have a bit of a piss smell at the time of inspection. I'm sure there is a simple fix for that...
Grade: 4 out of 10

Flush: Overall this is a decent flush, certainly not going to get embarrassed. It also has a pretty effective no touch flush system. These systems are great if they work well, but otherwise annoying. Also of note is that this restroom uses reclaimed waste water, which is pretty damn cool.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Aesthetics: Over all this restroom has a pretty new vibe. It can't be more than 10 years old. I also think that the metallic looking doors and dispenser play well here. Also, if you're looking for a perk, try to bring the lap top in and enjoy the Wifi set up this rest stop offers.
Grade: 7 out of 10

The Bottom Line: As far as places to poop go, this is a pretty good one. As soon as you park your car in the parking lot, you'll sense immediately that this is not some seedy rest stop. Aside from having a staff of friendly old ladies, there's a lot to look at.

A Counter!

2007-04-23T16:05:00.000-04:00

Hooray for a counter!

PS Be on the lookout for a Poopin' Around Town Roadtrip!

THX,
The Shit Critic

Stop & Shop - Brighton, MA

2007-04-15T19:34:00.000-04:00

Stop & Shop - 3.2

Growing up in the northeast, Stop & Shop is almost a way of life. Ok, perhaps that's overstating it, but Stop & Shop has been around for over 90 years now and has over 360 stores in the northeast. It was started in 1914 in Somerville under the name Economy Grocery Stores Company and took it's current moniker in 1946.

Location: By now i figure that most serious bathroom users know that supermarket restrooms are almost always located in a rear corner of the store. Most of the Stop & Shop stores in can think of have the bathrooms near the deli/seafood area and this one is no exception. There weren't a lot of signs, but if you know a grocery store layout, they're not really necessary.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Accessibility: Park the car, walk through the door and head to the back corner. Couldn't be easier. Nothing or no one will stop you and you can head in almost any time of the day.
Grade: 10 out of 10

Number of Stalls: They had two stalls and two urinals, so there was ample room to get down to business. Typical set up with one handicapped and one regular stall.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Stall Quality: The stall itself was pretty standard. The seat in the handicapped stall is a bit wobbly and is probably in need of replacement. The non handicapped stall was a typical smaller stall. There also was a coat hanger on the door as well.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Toiler Paper: Stop & Shop provides boring one-ply industrial rolls. It was well covered at least.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Cleanliness: The picture below says it all. It was worse than that looks.
Grade: 0 out of 10

Scent: You ever smell dry piss? You know, when someone pisses on the floor and it does not get cleaned? It smelled like that. Not cool.
Grade: 0 out of 10

Flush: The Shit Critic expects more from industrial toilets. This one was a bit weak, though they do provide you with a plunger.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Aesthetics: I don't expect much from the Stop & Shop bathroom. but in one of this millennium's great surprises, they've attempted to spruce things up by putting some 6 foot tall plant in the restroom. You can kind of see it in the picture above, behind the garbage.
Grade: 1 out of 10

Extra Credit:
Plunger: +1

The Bottom Line: If you're driving around and absolutely need to pop in somewhere, this should be on your back burner. Know that there is a big chance that the bathroom will:

A: Be a total mess.
B: Smell pretty damn bad.
C: Be generally disgusting.

I mean, really, how many employees does Stop & Shop have working in one store at any given time? Can't they have one guy check the bathroom once an hour?

Ikea - Stoughton, MA

2007-04-08T21:25:00.000-04:00

Ikea - 7.2

When Ikea opened up a store south of Boston in Stoughton, MA, a lot of lives around town changed. Now the store that provides well designed furtiture at low prices that everyone will be able to afford them has almost become as much of a destination as a trip to Fenway or perhaps an evening at the movies. Ikea was founded in 1943 by 17 year old Ingvar Kamprad (who depending on the moment is anywhere between the richest and 4th richest person in the world!!) and has since expanded to over 230 stores in Europe, North America, Asia, Australia and the Middle East. This Ikea is located at 1 Ikea Way in Stoughton, MA.

Location: If you've been to Ikea, you already know that it can be as confusing to navigate as a casino. If you take their store map, you should be able to navigate your way around though. This restroom is located at the entrance to Ikea. After walking through the doors, walk to the left of the escalator and the restroom will be straight ahead.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Accessibility: Only potential issue here is if you're in an area that is not particularly close to the restrooms. Make sure you take a map which will tell you where the shortcuts are which will help you make your way to the nearest bathroom. If you know what you're doing and where you are, you should be ok.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Number of Stalls: There are 4 stalls in this restroom, 2 small, 1 large and one handicapped. On top of this there are 3 urinals (which are water free!). You should have no problem on this front.
Grade: 10 out of 10

Stall Quality: The stalls were pretty run of the mill. The small ones were small, but not to the point where your knee runs into the toilet paper dispenser. You'd figure that a place into nicely designed furniture would have bathrooms with some nifty gadget (aside from the water/flush free urinal). It was also a bit dark.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Toiler Paper: This toilet paper was a bit unusual. As far as The Shit Critic could deduce, this was one ply paper. Despite the paper being 1 ply, it was quite soft and effective.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Cleanliness: Everything checked out here though for some reason I was expecting a shiny, spotless restroom. While it certainly not messy, I still was hoping for a bit more.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Scent: It smelled like someone had just gotten down to business in the 10 minutes or for before The Shit Critic showed up on the scene. There was a scent machine, but it hadn't watered down the air enough yet.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Flush: The flush here was just fine. Nothing out of the ordinary, but enough to get the job done.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Aesthetics: I feel like Ikea falls a bit short here. If this were a bathroom at Wendy's or something it'd be pretty great, but for Ikea I'd expect them to add some frills instead of just having a plain bathroom.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Extra Credit:
Toilet Seat Covers: +2

The Bottom Line: The bathroom at Ikea has a lot going for it. The four stalls are a big plus, as was the nice toilet paper. As long as you can find your way there using the map (or walk straight into the one I did after entering, you should be all set.

AA Flight 1070 - Boston, MA

2007-03-18T19:57:00.000-04:00

AA Flight 1070 - 4.7

A bit of a road trip got The Shit Critic thinking...How viable an option is the lavatory while flying the friendly skies? Is it just for #1 and those applying to join the mile high club? Or is it actually a place where the travelling Joe can sit on the John and relax. This American Airlines flight from Dallas to Boston was completely sold out and definitely should provide an answer to the questions above.

Location: This plane is an S80 which has three bathrooms. One is in the first class section and two are at the rear end of the plane. Unless you're in first class or in one of the rear rows, it might be a bit tough to get there. Lot of potential obstacles on airplanes in the aisles. That said, its a common location for airplanes.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Accessibility: Well, for the sake of this review, we're assuming you're past security and on the plane. Once on the plane, it's there for the taking, barring turbulence and the beverage cart.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Number of Stalls: Bit of a grey area here. If you're an economy class passenger there are 2 restrooms for 120 passengers, while the 16 first class passengers share one other restroom. Perhaps you could sneak up to the first class section, who knows. That said, not the best ratio and the overwhelming majority of patrons in the latrines will be tinkling.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Stall Quality: We're obviously talking about some of the smallest stalls known to man. There is a sink within reach of the tiny toilet. Obviously there isn't room for any sort of expansive bathroom here, just the bare essentials. The seat itself is very small, perhaps designed with kids in mind. The paper towels were pretty nice and there is also an air nozzle identical to the one you'll find above your seat on a plane.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Toiler Paper: The folks on American Airlines' Airplane Bowel Movement Committee (ABMC) though it would be best to provide some rough one ply TP. At least there were two rolls of it...
Grade: 3 out of 10

Cleanliness: This bathroom was pretty clean. Part of why this might be is that there is a bit of a stigma about using bathrooms on an airplane. People just don't like it. All in all, pretty decent here.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Scent: I'd guess that bathrooms on airplanes generally smell better than you'd imagine. I mean really, who shits on a plane anyway? So since that is less of a worry, there is potential for these bathrooms to smell pretty badly.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Flush: Airplane toilets have somewhat interesting flushes. When you first get to the toilet, there isn't water sitting in a bowl. Just more of a metallic bowl. When you flush, and you do so by pressing a button to the left of the toilet, the bottom of the toilet opens up and a rush of blue liquid comes and sweeps it all away. I'm sure the blue stuff is a sort of disinfectant or odor eating type of deal. Either way, give yourself a courtesy flush or you might stink up the joint in a jiffy.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Aesthetics: Well, you're on an airplane, so there isn't much in the way of decoration. The bathroom is noisy and has a tendency have a rhythmic vibration from the engines or some other feature of the airplane. Not an easy place to concentrate if that's what you're looking to do.
Grade: 3 out of 10

The Bottom Line: Take it from The Shit Critic, it wasn't all that bad of a place to get down to business. Certainly a small space and there is always the possibility of a wait especially on a longer flight. If you need to take a load off, I'd give it the green light. Perhaps a bit of an adventure, but better than squirming in seat 31 F for a few more hours.

Chili's - Boston, MA

2007-03-02T21:16:00.000-05:00

Chili's - 3.5

Open since 1975, Chili's has over 1,000 restaurants in over 20 countries. While it's certainly not fine dining, it's certainly a step up from fast food. For some reason, they seem to be lumped in with Outback, Applebees and other restaurants which serve some sort of fried onion as an overpriced appetizer. I'm a sucker and order it anyway. This Chili's is located at Copley Place at 100 Huntington Avenue in Boston.

Location: Not the easiest to find. After walking through the entrance, head straight. At the end of that walkway, head left and then take a quick right. I'd say it's about 75-100 feet from the main entrance, though that could be overstating it. There were a few signs, just not that easy to see them either when I first made the trek.
Grade: 2 out of 10

Accessibility: Chili's has hostesses, so It's not a free walk right into the place. That said, I'm sure a little white lie will get you past them.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Number of Stalls: There are two stalls here and also two urinals, so whoever designed this bathroom had the right idea. You'll likely be able to grab a stall here and not worry about it having piss all over it. Well, in theory that's the case...
Grade: 8 out of 10

Stall Quality: The stalls themselves were ok. One was handicapped and the other a bit smaller. The stalls were pretty standard.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Toiler Paper: Their two ply was locked up in a nice case. So everything here was good to go. Someone must have really loved it. They seemed to throw it all over the place!
Grade: 6 out of 10

Cleanliness: This is one of the messiest bathrooms I've been to in a while. Simply put, it was gross. While restaurants do get busy, there is no reason for a bathroom to ever be as messy as it was on this night. Wow.
Grade: 0 out of 10

Scent: On top of not being particularly clean, this bathroom didn't smell great and did not have anything to combat the problem. C'mon Chili's! We expect more from you!
Grade: 3 out of 10

Flush: After seeing the pictures above, one might wonder if these toilet's were broken. I didn't venture to check as they seemed pretty out of commission.
Grade: 0 out of 10

Aesthetics: They had a bit of a southwestern Brown/Orange/Eggshell color theme. Kind of a nice touch, though I'd trade it all if I could have used their facilities.
Grade: 4 out of 10

The Bottom Line: If I were eating in this Chili's and had to use the facilities to #2, I'd excuse myself from my table and head into the mall and search for one there. There is actually a mall restroom within 50 feet of the entrance. Even if this blog were called Pissin' Around Town, I'd have trouble recommending it. A 3.5 is generous.

Spike's Junkyard Dogs - Allston, MA

2007-02-24T18:23:00.000-05:00

Spike's - 6.0

A good hot dog is hard to find. A great hot dog near impossible. If you're looking for the Shit Critic's personal favorites, go to the store and buy a Deutschmacher. Very tasty! Otherwise, head out to one of Spike's Junkyard Dogs 10 locations in south eastern New England. I assure you that their dogs will put the Fenway Frank to shame. This particular Spikes is located at 108 Brighton Ave. in Allston, MA.

Location: Once you're inside Spike's, head to the left and you'll run into the bathroom. Since Spike's is such a small place, it's as easy as could be to find.
Grade: 10 out of 10

Accessibility: Spike's is a friendly place, and while I doubt they invite folks to come right in and use their facilities, it really should be a problem to get in.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Number of Stalls: Continuing with the trend of recent reviews, this is a one person bathroom. There's one toilet and no urinal, a pretty standard set up for most restrooms like this.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Stall Quality: This bathroom was very cold, air from the outside was likely coming in through the one brick wall, or any of the 3 walls that had siding. This spot was not intended to be a bathroom. Aside from that, it's much of what you'd expect from a place like Spike's.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Toiler Paper: They had one industrial sized roll of two-ply. Was decent stuff, though there wasn't any back up in sight and there also wasn't a lot left. Leaves some room for worry.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Cleanliness: The restroom here was clean. I wouldn't eat off their floor, but they've done a good job on this front.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Scent: This might sound a bit weird, but it smelled cold in there. I'm not sure cold has a certain smell. There wasn't any spray or an aeroguard, and considering the kind of food they serve, it has the potential to be a disaster
Grade: 4 out of 10

Flush: When I saw this toilet, I doubted it's flush off the bat. It just looked like the kind of toilet that has a pretty blah flush. On the contrary, it was an above average flush.
Note: Never judge a toilet by it's appearance.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Aesthetics: This is a bathroom fir for a junkyard dog. That said, they could have done a bit of decorating or something to spruce the restroom up as they've done with the rest of the space.
Grade: 3 out of 10

The Bottom Line: This is an accessible and easy to find restroom. That is a major part of the battle if you're around town. This is a good target if you're in the Allston area. Only thing holding you back is a line.

McDonald's - Boston, MA

2007-02-19T20:03:00.000-05:00

McDonald's - 6.2

Growing up, I wondered how many people McDonald's would serve in my lifetime. I remember seeing the signs at each individual restaurant saying something like "88 Billion Served". Come to find out, McDonald's serves about 54 million people daily. I don't think much of a further explanation is required. This particular McDonald's is located at 949 Commonwealth ave in Boston across the street from the Agganis Arena.

Location: After walking in from Comm Ave, the restrooms are directly to the left with the men's room to the far left and the ladies room to its right. Couldn't be any easier to find.
Grade: 10 out of 10

Accessibility: This Mickey D's is somewhat more accessible than some of it's other big city brethren and sistren. When I visited, there was no lock and no one to stop me from walking right in.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Number of Stalls: There was one men's room and one women's room. There was just one toilet, no urinal. Not the best set up, pretty standard for a low end bathroom.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Stall Quality: As you'd expect, the McDonald's bathroom isn't the highest quality bathroom in the hub. It's very plain and just there to serve a purpose, no frills. The seat was also a bit loose. Someone must have rocked it!
Grade: 4 out of 10

Toiler Paper: They had 2-ply with friendly little dots. Pretty decent as far as the toilet paper goes. It's also well shielded from everyones greasy fingers....
Grade: 7 out of 10

Cleanliness: I'd imagine they have someone check the restrooms here once an hour or so, so they're pretty clean, though i anticipate that isn't the case during peak hours. The floor was a bit wet as well.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Scent: They did have an aeroguard to combat whatever stenches occupy this space otherwise. There wasn't much of a smell at all.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Flush: This was an ok flush, nothing notable.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Aesthetics: A very boring and all business bathroom. In reality, people aren't coming here for the bathroom and most patrons are in and out pretty quick. It's as bland as can be.
Grade: 4 out of 10

The Bottom Line: While bathrooms don't get more boring than this, it's worth a shot if you're in a bind. It's low commitment, easy to access and is likely to be passably clean. If you're on Comm Ave, at the Paradise or checking out a BU hockey game, keep it on your list of options. The grade is as high as it is almost entirely due to the accessibility and location.

Deluxe Town Diner - Watertown, MA

2007-02-11T18:20:00.000-05:00

Deluxe Town Diner - 3.6

If you think that there are no good diners in the Boston area, here's proof that there are. The Deluxe Town Diner, located at 627 Mt. Auburn St. in Watertown and is open from 7 AM to 10 PM daily. They have a full menu of fantastic food, serve large portions at fair prices. If you're looking for a new breakfast joint and haven't been here, it's definitely worth your while.

Location: Once you're in the diner, you'll have to head to your right. Turn left at the end of the counter and then the walk towards the back end of the restaurant. About 10 feet after turning left, turn left again into a small hallway. The bathrooms are on your right once you've entered the hallway. Tough to find if you don't know where they are.
Grade: 2 out of 10

Accessibility: There is often a line just to get into the restaurant at peak times so there might be a bit of a crowd to get through. As well, there is a host at the door. Most of the patrons and all of the staff are polite, so it's a workable situation.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Number of Stalls: This is another establishment that has a single, non stall bathroom as it's sole restroom. There is one toilet and no urinal limiting your options.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Stall Quality: The stall is a thin and at the time of this review, very cold room. The toilet itself is very low to the ground and there are some cracks in the floor below it letting more cold air in. This bathroom is definitely in need of some remodeling.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Toiler Paper: The TP here is actually one ply, pretty low grade stuff.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Cleanliness: This bathroom is reasonably clean, though doesn't have a particularly clean feel, kind of fits in with the general theme of the restroom.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Scent: The scent here wasn't too great. Nothing awful, but definitely not the most pleasant. There is a window and thus some opportunity for fresh air, but this bathroom as mentioned above is really in need of some upgrading which could help with the scent.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Flush: The flush here was completely average. Sadly, one of the high points of this bathroom.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Aesthetics: This bathroom is very plain and boring. The Shit Critic has somewhat of an affinity for the color brown, so the color scheme of the bathroom is appreciated. Other than that, I'd venture to guess that no improvements/renovations have been made in a looooong time.
Grade: 3 out of 10

The Bottom Line: There isn't another way to say it. This bathroom is one of the worst to be reviewed on this site. If you're heading out for breakfast, this diner is highly recommended. If you're going to need to #2, this place will work, but there are many better options.

Deep Ellum - Allston, MA

2007-02-04T15:22:00.000-05:00

Deep Ellum - 7.0

Deep Ellum is a new bar located at 477 Cambridge St. in Allston, MA. This place has changed hands a few times in the last few years and was most recently called Reel Bar. Now, in the hands of new ownership, they provide one of the most diverse and expansive beer selections in Boston as well as a great food menu. The name Deep Ellum pays tribute to a neighborhood in Dallas, TX.

Location: After entering Deep Ellum, head straight back along side the bar and into the small hallway at the back end of the bar. The men's room is the second door on the right. Pretty obvious location after seeing the layout.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Accessibility: This is a bar so you'll need to be older than 21 to grace this bathroom with your excrement, other than that, it's a cake walk.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Number of Stalls: This bathroom is one room unto itself. There is a urinal and one toilet, so it's slightly more equipped than many of the other restrooms sans stalls.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Stall Quality: It's surprisingly nice actually. Not a lot of frills, though a nice looking bathroom and one you'll likely be comfortable getting down to business in.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Toiler Paper: Stock and standard two ply, two rolls well covered by a plastic dispenser. All quiet on the western front....
Grade: 7 out of 10

Cleanliness: This bathroom is pretty clean. The floors, by the sink, you name it... wasn't completely spotless, but was definitely clean.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Scent: Maybe the nose doesn't always know, but I smelled some fresh paint. I don't think they had just painted, but there was a bit of a scent. It was somewhat pleasant! They also have a scent dispenser if you will.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Flush: Nothing remarkable for a flush, pretty middle of the road.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Aesthetics: The bathroom here has somewhat of an almost classy checkerboard vibe. I liked it.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Extra Credit:
Paper Towels exposed on the sink: -1

The Bottom Line: This is a nice bathroom in a great bar. The biggest downside is that there it's all in one room, so it might be tough to get a seat in there. Otherwise, you're in the clear.

Top Of The Hub - Boston, MA

2007-01-31T21:49:00.000-05:00

Top Of The Hub - 6.1

Located on the 52nd floor of The Prudential Tower in Boston's Back Bay, Top Of The Hub is a classy restaurant with a view of all of Boston. 759 Feet above the ground, you'll also fine live jazz bands an assortment of well made yet pricy adult beverages. The Pru is located at 800 Boylston St.

Location: Once out of the elevator, the restrooms are immediately to your right. Go down the hallway which lies a few feet before the hostess and the bathroom will be on your right. There isn't any signage that I saw. So it's easy to get to if you know where it is (doesn't that sound like something John Madden would say?)
Grade: 6 out of 10

Accessibility: This bathroom is surprisingly accessible. Since it's location is before the hostess, you should be able to walk right on in, especially if it's a little busy.
Grade: 9 out of 10

Number of Stalls: This restroom has only two stalls, when you'd expect a bit more considering the capacity and lack of other restrooms nearby. Looking for a little more here...
Grade: 4 out of 10

Stall Quality: The stalls were nice, with a big closing door that doesn't reach the ceiling or floor, so there is good airflow. It's also a large stall, though it doesn't have much in the way of features. It was nice, but for some reason, I was expecting nicer.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Toiler Paper: The toilet paper was ok. If you're sensing a bit of disappoint disappointment here, you are correct, a place this nice should have a nice toilet paper set up, with some pretty plush TP.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Cleanliness: The bathroom was mostly clean despite the renovation that seemed to be going on. There was no sign about it, so I'm simply assuming that some sort of construction was underway. All in all though, it was clean.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Scent: Not much of a scent to speak of, though again, in such a pricy and classy establishment, you'd expect something pleasant.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Flush: This flush was ok. It was automatic, which is partially great and partially an adventure. Sometimes it takes a while for the toilet to swallow and digest so to speak. I can never figure those out!!
Grade: 6 out of 10

Aesthetics: I figured there would be something to look at or keep me occupied here and there was nothing. For some, that's a plus. This being a classy establishment, it seems ok to leave the restroom as simple and plain.
Grade: 7 out of 10

The Bottom Line: The fine folks at Top Of The Hub aren't going to leave you in dire straits. At the same time, it'd be great to see them put in a bit more effort and make the bathroom top notch. A few more frills would go a long way. When it comes down to it, if you're going to #2 at the highest possible place to do so in Boston, shouldn't it be as enjoyable as possible?

Side note: How does the poop travel down from the 52nd floor?? That's quite a trip!

The Other Side Cafe - Boston, MA

2007-01-26T20:51:00.000-05:00

The Other Side Cafe - 6.0

The Other Side Cafe is one of Boston's finer dive bars. Featuring a wide selection of beers and reasonably priced food, The Other Side has developed a reputation with beer snobs and punk kids alike. If you're looking to avoid over-priced, frat filled BU/Boylston St area bars, this could be the place for you. The Other Side Cafe is located at 407 Newbury St at Mass Ave. in Boston.

Location: After you walk into The Other Side Cafe, the Bathrooms are directly ahead of you. Might have to fight through a small crowd to get there, otherwise it couldn't be simpler!
Grade: 8 out of 10

Accessibility: The Other Side Cafe is 21+ as it is a bar, though it might be possible for someone underage (not recommended!) to sneak through. Outside of that, you're in the clear, none of the staff here would bother you.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Number of Stalls: There are two bathrooms, shared by patrons of both sexes and everything that might be in between. If they're occupied, you might be in Tee-Rubble.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Stall Quality: On this night, The Shit Critic used the bathroom to the left. The bathrooms here are individual rooms that are reasonably sizeable. There is one toilet, a sink, a coat hanger, a trash can and not much else (not that there could be much more). We'd prefer if there was a urinal, but all in all, not bad.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Toiler Paper: This toilet paper wasn't the best. It was two ply that had started separating and didn't look all that nice to start. At least it's covered up, right?
Grade: 4 out of 10

Cleanliness: For a dive bar, this restroom was pretty clean outside of the normal stuff you'd expect like a few pieces of toilet paper on the floor. Either the staff does good work, or the patrons are quite respectful...
Grade: 7 out of 10

Scent: No real scent here, though if need be, I imagine the window could be opened. There weren't any preventative measures, so there is some potential for disaster on this front.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Flush: The flush here was relatively weak for a standard 6 LPF toilet. I certainly wouldn't drop off all the kids at once, or see how much toilet paper can fit in this puppy. They do provide a plunger though.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Aesthetics: One of the finer points of this bathroom is the art in it. As you can see in the photo's above, the bathroom is painted with characters and creatures quite colorfully. Seems to be that the fine folks over at Urban Monsters have taken some time to make the restrooms there a bit more colorful and pleasant!
Grade: 9 out of 10

Extra Credit:
Plunger: +1
No Paper Towels: -3

The Bottom Line: Not a bad bathroom at all, perhaps one of your better late night options in the area, especially if you're just wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

Outback Steakhouse - Medford, MA

2007-01-20T15:44:00.000-05:00

Outback Steakhouse- 6.7

Oh, the Outback Steakhouse. You are fine dining for college students and young professionals with no money here in the US and abroad. Between the Bloomin' Onion, the 22oz beers and fine selection of steak, you've gained a reputation around the world for good service, good food, good portions all at a reasonable rate. This particular Outback is located at 672 Fellsway in Medford, MA.

Location: The Blokes room is a bit difficult to locate. Once in the restaurant, pass the hostess and walk past the bar area. Once past the bar, take a left and you'll be in the right place. This is the back left corner of the restaurant. The Sheilas room is there as well.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Accessibility: If you've been to The Outback, you know that they have a hostess. If you're waiting for a table I'm sure they'd be glad to let you use the facilities, if not you might be able to sneak by or just walk in as if you're taking a seat at the bar. Should be ok.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Number of Stalls: This Outback had two stalls, one of which is a handicapped stall. There were also two urinals leaving plenty of options for those who don't need to #2.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Stall Quality: The handicapped stall is very sizable while the other stall is quite a bit smaller. All in all they even each other out. The handicapped stall is much nicer.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Handicapped Stall

Non Handicapped Stall

Toiler Paper: Very nice toilet paper set up, locked up very tightly! It was also plentiful, no worries here...
Grade: 8 out of 10

Cleanliness: Some normal restaurant paper towel type mess. That said, the restroom has an over clean type of feel.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Scent: The smell in here was actually noticeable pleasant. They do have a mechanical bathroom spray device. It seems to be doing a bang up job!
Grade: 10 out of 10

Flush: Be careful here as the flush in both toilets was noticeably weak. I'd also warn that one of the toilets was clogged. There was a plunger located under the sink, but that might not be the most help.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Aesthetics: They've definitely made an effort to make this bathroom seem a bit friendly. They have a nice soap set up with nicer soap than usual and paper towels nicely laid out. They even make it kid friendly with a stool in case they are not tall enough for the sink (or the urinal for that matter).
Grade: 8 out of 10

Extra Credit:
Plunger: +1

The Bottom Line: If you're at the Outback and need to relieve yourself be confident that their facilities will get the job done. Beware of the weak flush, if you have a larger than usual delivery for the toilet, you might want to break things up into a few flushes if possible.

Four Seasons Hotel - Boston, MA

2007-01-09T16:11:00.000-05:00

Four Seasons Hotel - 9.2

Overlooking the Public Garden and Beacon Hill, and within easy reach of every notable business, entertainment and cultural attraction, Four Seasons Hotel is characterized by elegant simplicity and old-world Boston Charm. These qualities also make it a very convenient and attractive destination for those is need of a Number 2 break. If you've got extra time and an empty stomach, spot into the lounge fro a Bristol Sirloin Burger. Four Seasons Hotel Boston is located at 200 Boylston St.

Location: We prefer our bathrooms in a lower traffic area and this one fits the bill. Head left in the lobby toward the lounge and head up the grand staircase. You'll find the facilities just ahead to your left.
Grade: 9 out of 10

Accessibility: If you can play it cool and don't look like a crazy street person, you should have no trouble. If you can't play it cool and do look like a crazy street person, you're probably more comfortable shitting yourself anyway.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Number of Stalls: There are two stalls with Full-length solid wood doors. These are rooms more than anything else. No flimsy aluminum walls here, you're entombed in solid marble and plaster.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Stall Quality: There's enough space for any gymnastic moves that you might incorporate inro your routine. We also like the coat hook on the door. That's a must have, especially in the winter months.
Grade: 9 out of 10

Toiler Paper: Two full rolls with the end sheet facing out, juts like we like it. We're not interested in having our paper brush the wall before it toushes us. The paper was held on spindle rollers, side by side. Simple and bulletproof. In a bathroom of this quality, we don't frown upon our paper being exposed to the elements like we might in a dingier spot. The ends were even folded into triangles to enhance the presentation.
Grade: 10 out of 10

Cleanliness: As it should be, this bathroom is spotless.
Grade: 10 out of 10

Scent: Are those fresh lilacs I smell?
Grade: 10 out of 10

Flush: The top-of range- TOTO had a flush like a jet engine. We wished we'd brought out bowling ball, just to see if it would go down too.
Grade: 10 out of 10

Aesthetics: Clean walls and bare surfaces may be boring, but they also add to our relaxation. If you need a distraction, you'd better bring something to read because there isn't much else to look at.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Extra Credit:
Toilet seat covers: +2

The Bottom Line: If you're in the area, this spot is definitely worth an extra bit of walking. The luxury accomodations provided by the hotel don't stop at guest rooms and dining. Just stroll in like you own the place and don't linger too long and you should have no toilet access issues.

contribued by: Inspecteur De Toilette

Peet's Coffee & Tea - Cambridge, MA

2006-12-30T22:18:00.000-05:00

Peet's Tea & Coffee - 6.0

Peet's Coffee & Tea is a San Francisco based coffee chain with outlets in Boston, Chicago, Denver, Los Angeles, Portland, Seattle, San Diego and of course, San Francisco. This particular store is located at 100 Mt. Auburn St. in the middle of Harvard Square in Cambridge. For those looking for an alternative to Starbucks and the ability to call your coffee "small", "medium" or "large" this could be the place for you.

Location: Upon entering, head to your left. The bathroom is in the back left corner on the shop. It's pretty easy to find.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Accessibility: There is a sign discouraging those who are not customers from using the restroom. We all know that this sign usually means nothing. During any somewhat busy moment it'll be easy to slip by.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Number of Stalls: The facilities at this joint are all contained in one room. Just one toilet, no other outlets for any needs (unless you count the sink!).
Grade: 4 out of 10

Stall Quality: The room is reasonably spacious and gets the job done. Nothing too interesting to note.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Toiler Paper: There was a ton of toilet paper at Peet's. Seven rolls visible and that doesn't include the close above the toilet. Toilet paper itself was very standard.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Cleanliness: Bathrooms in coffee chains are always high traffic and easy for people to access. Thus, they are not the cleanest. This restrooms was just as I would have expected it. Some paper towels on the floor and general mess. Nothing appalling, though also not something the Shit Critic would deem very clean.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Scent: Was not much of a scent. Perhaps the coffee beans outside neutralize the scent of poop inside. Either way, nothing noteworthy.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Flush: The flush itself was ok. One catch: When you flush the toilet, you have to hold the handle down for an extended period of time.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Aesthetics: When brand new, you can tell that this was a reasonably nice restroom. Over time, there has been typical vandalism (graffiti) along with standard wear and tear. If it had been kept up over time it would have rated higher. The lighting was also a bit poor as a light bulb was out.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Extra Credit:
Light bulb out: -1
Toilet seat covers: +2
Plunger readily available: +1

The Bottom Line: This bathroom is an option and Harvard Square might not be the easiest place to find a bathroom to use. This is centrally located, so take advantage.

Charmin Restrooms - New York, NY

2006-12-21T17:15:00.000-05:00

Charmin Restrooms - 10.0

Wow. Talk about a great idea! The Charmin Restrooms are located at 1540 Broadway next to the Virgin Megastore and under the Bertelsmann Building. To sum up, this is Charmin's holiday gift to New York. From our point of view, they knew exactly what to get as a gift!

Location: Once you enter, go up the escalator. At the top, proceed forward and you will be in the area of the restrooms. Sometimes you will have to wait in a line, other times you won't. Since the goal of the establishment is to provide relief for those looking for a restroom, they are pretty easy to find.
Grade: 10 out of 10

Accessibility: Not even close to a concern. You're actually encouraged to come in just to use the facilities!
Grade: 10 out of 10

Number of Stalls: There are 20 individual restrooms to use. The ones that are in use are noted by a blue light above the door. You will be directed by one of the overly enthusiastic staff members as to which restroom will be yours. As well, there are two stalls designated for little ones having a bit of an emergency or those who really have to go (pictured below).
Grade: 10 out of 10

Stall Quality: My restroom (#3) was very nice. All of them are a bit on the small side, but at this place you have nothing to complain about anyway.
Grade: 10 out of 10

Toiler Paper: You want variety? You got it! There are six different types of toilet paper here all fully stocked, so pick any one you'd like. You're the sandpaper type? They're on it. You're the wipe my ass with a piece of silk type? You're covered. Well..... maybe not silk, but you get the drift.
Grade: 10 out of 10

Cleanliness: Completely spotless. One of the aforementioned overly enthusiastic staff members actually makes sure that each restroom is absolutely spotless after each use. So rest assured that you'll be in good hands here.
Grade: 10 out of 10

Scent: Do you think that the good folks at Charmin would let you down at this point? Bathrooms were completely pleasant on this front.
Grade: 10 out of 10

Flush: Good to go!
Grade: 10 out of 10

Aesthetics: My bathroom was great! Some of the restrooms even have theme's like Everybody Loves Raymond. Can you ask for more?
Grade: 10 out of 10

The Bottom Line: It doesn't get better than this. If you're in dire straits and really need to go (there might be a line here, 5-10 minutes?) try to ask if you can use the Gotta Go stall, perhaps you'll get bumped ahead of everyone. Otherwise, this is paradise! The Charmin Restrooms are open 8AM - 11PM Daily until 12/31/2006. Head on over, it is an experience unto itself. This might actually be better than a 10.0!

DeLux - Boston, MA

2006-12-12T10:31:00.000-05:00

DeLux - 4.6

DeLux is in Boston's South End, right of Clarendon St. at 100 Chandler. This classy dive is only a few blocks from Copley Square and offers food and cocktails that have no right being as good as they are for the price. Entrees on the ever-changing menu top out at $12, and it's hard to argue DeLux doesn't offer Boston's best Grilled Cheese.

Location: Once inside this narrow space, just head straight to the back past the bar and kitchen. Men's on the left, Lady's on the right. Couldn't be easier.
Grade: 9 out of 10

Accessibility: The only trouble you might encounter would be on a busy night. DeLux is long and slim and the area in front of the bar tends to get crowded. You might have to push through a few groups to get to the back and the bathroom. If it's a quieter time, you'll have no problem walking straight back.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Number of Stalls: The bathroom becomes the stall. The stall becomes the bathroom. This is it. Once you go through that door you're in and you're alone. There is a urinal but it was out of order on this night, covered with a heavy-duty garbage bag. Beware of a wet seat.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Stall Quality: Since the stall is the bathroom, you've got plenty of room to stretch out a bit. Further, the door lock works, so you won't get any uninvited company.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Toiler Paper: There was a fresh roll available during inspection, but it was unprotected and sitting on the toilet tank. This opens up the possibility that others have been handling the paper that you're going to use, or even worse that the roll has been on the floor. We like our TP safely encased behind metallic or plastic, on something we can just give a tug at when we need a few sheets. No good.
Grade: 2 out of 10

Cleanliness: This bathroom is not clean.
Grade: 1 out of 10

Scent: Nothing overwhelming in the olfactory department. That's not to say there was anything particularly good going on either. A little air freshener would have been nice.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Flush: We found a surprising amount of horsepower with this flush. We'd have no hesitations if it came to pulling the trigger on a big load.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Aesthetics: While having nearly every surface in the room covered in amusing graffiti does detract from the overall cleanliness, it also offers plenty of amusing reading material. That's something this critic always cherishes. Add that to the comic book pages used as wallpaper on a few of the walls and we're feeling even better.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Extra Credit:
The sink is located outside of the bathroom, next to the waitress station. -3

The Bottom Line: If you really have to make some room for the meatloaf special, this isn't the worst place to do it. More attention to cleanliness wouldn't be wasted and a toilet paper enclosure would really put us at ease about where that roll has been.

contributed by: Inspecteur de Toilette

T.T. The Bear's Place- Cambridge, MA

2006-12-06T22:45:00.000-05:00

T.T. The Bear's Place - 5.0

T.T. The Bear's Place is located at 10 Brookline Street in Central Square in Cambridge. It's a small to mid sized rock venue with live music virtually every night. Shows generally run between $8 - $10.

Location: After going through the front door, the bathrooms will be directly ahead of you about 20 feet. The men's room is on the right and the ladies room on the left. Very centrally located within the venue.
Grade: 9 out of 10

Accessibility: While it does not say it on their website, the Shit Critic believes that T.T.'s is 18+ on some nights and 21+ on others. You'll definitely have to show an ID at the door and if there is a show, pay to get in.
Grade: 2 out of 10

Number of Stalls: There is one stall at T.T.'s with a urinal next to it for those who have needs not as urgent as yours. There is usually a lot of traffic in and out of the bathroom with everyone drinking and all, so sometimes people will use the stall for good ole #1. That isn't ideal.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Stall Quality: The stall is reasonably spacious but otherwise very simple and standard.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Toiler Paper: They have the big industrial rolls here, so running out is seldom and issue. As you can see in the picture above, folks seem to want to write on the toilet paper, but never seem to break through. Oh, those crazy kids.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Cleanliness: When the Shit Critic stopped by earlier this week, the bathroom was surprisingly clean. Only one paper towel on the floor and otherwise looking damn good for a rock club.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Scent: They had just painted the bathroom with a fresh coat of brown paint, so that was the dominant scent on this night.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Flush: This flush was a bit weak and leaves room for some concern as to whether the toilet can handle some serious action. As well, be sure to go reasonably light on the toilet paper.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Aesthetics: Well, they did just put a fresh coat of paint up on the walls, so at least they care a bit. Otherwise, it's a pretty bland and uninteresting rock club, but that's better than the alternative, no?
Grade: 5 out of 10

Extra Credit:
Paper towels not in dispenser: -1
Paper towels not in dispenser and on wet sink area: -2

The Bottom Line: All in all, the bathroom isn't too bad, though it certainly has a few obstacles to a passerby. Specifically, it might cost some money to get in and it's possible that there will be a bit of a line. The venue seems to give half of a poop about how the bathroom so there is a chance it might be in decent shape if you can get to it.

Marriott Courtyard - Boston, MA

2006-12-03T20:36:00.000-05:00

Marriott Courtyard - 7.8

This Marriott Courtyard is located at 275 Tremont St in the Theater District. It is across the street from the Wang Theatre and above The Roxy.

Location: As soon as you go through the door, the reception desk will be off to your left. Head past the reception desk and turn right after the mini convenience store. The restrooms will be up ahead on the left. There were no signs for the restroom that I noticed, but was able to find it relatively easy anyway.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Accessibility: I had no problem walking right by the reception desk at a pretty slow time. Perhaps someone would stop you, but I don't see it as an issue.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Number of Stalls: There are three stalls here including one of the biggest I've seen in Boston. It's larger than my freshman year dorm room. Outside of the ginormous handicapped stall (....then you wait...), there are two regular sized stalls.
Grade: 9 out of 10

Stall Quality: The stalls here were nice. The normal stalls were pretty run of the mill, but the large handicapped stall was something to write home about if you like having your space.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Toiler Paper: Toilet paper was plentiful and two ply. Each stall had two rolls and were not close to finished. Not to be picky, but it would have been nice if there was something covering the TP as opposed to having it exposed to the elements.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Cleanliness: Bathroom was very clean, that's one of the best parts of using hotels when poopin' around town. They almost always come through on that front.
Grade: 9 out of 10

Scent: I didn't pick up on any sort of scent here, good to go!
Grade: 7 out of 10

Flush: The flush was pretty nice and triggered by a motion sensor, so no need to touch some dirty metallic handle with condensation all over it. That is condensation, isn't it?
Grade: 8 out of 10

Aesthetics: This bathroom is what you'd expect at a nice hotel. Bathroom was modern and the colors were the typical bland beige. While it was boring, it was a nice bathroom. Sure there could have been a flat screen in the stall or a nice fellow there to give me a mint or sell me aspirin, but that would be going above and beyond the call of duty. This was a comfortable bathroom.
Grade: 8 out of 10

The Bottom Line: Tip: Hotel bathrooms are gold. If that is an option for you while you are out around town, consider it. A doorman could be an obstacle, but otherwise you could be in a bathroom nicer than your home turf. This was no exception. This is one of the best bathrooms reviewed on Poopin' Around Town to date.

Hooters Of Boston - Boston, MA

2006-11-28T22:53:00.000-05:00

Hooters Of Boston - 6.8

Most people are familiar with Hooters as a delightfully tacky, yet unrefined chicken wing joint that happens to have waitresses who are well endowed in the upper torso region. There aren't a ton of these in the northeast, only three in Massachusetts. This Hooters restaurant (Hooters of Boston makes it sound classy, no?) is located at 222 Friend Street, between Haymarket and North Station.

Location: After entering the restaurant, the bathrooms are in the back right area of the restaurant. Once in the back right corner, there is a door leading to the restrooms. After going through the door, the men's room will be in front of you and the ladies room farther to the left.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Accessibility: It should be incredibly easy to get access to the bathroom here. Once you walk into the restaurant, you are told you can sit wherever you'd like. You can pretty much make a bee-line for the promise land.
Grade: 10 out of 10

Number of Stalls: They only have one stall, though there are two urinals. Would have liked to have seen the second stall as there is room for it.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Stall Quality: The stall was nothing to write home about. It is definitely spacious though the toilet is a bit far off the ground for someone who is of average height.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Toiler Paper: They have dispensers for two gigantic, industrial style rolls. One was empty, but the 2/3 full dispenser should carry them for a while. It was two ply, but not particularly soft.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Cleanliness: It was a pretty clean bathroom, some normal wear and tear. Garbage can was huge and easily accessible next to the sinks.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Scent: I didn't notice a particular scent in this bathroom, certainly nothing awful. There was an automatic air freshener, though I wasn't sure it was functional, not a big worry.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Flush: Flush was fine here, standard flush per gallon ratio. It got stronger after the first second or two.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Aesthetics: While the bathroom itself is not too attractive, there are a few amenities that are definite pluses. They we're playing some classic rock that was audible through out the bathroom, might help pass the time if you're stuck a while. As well, directly above the stall, there is a TV that is sometimes on for a sporting event or just on ESPN. Last but not least, the sports section of the newspaper is hung above the urinals and could potentially be snuck into the stall if no one is standing at the urinal. It helps make up for the cold feeling the bathroom otherwise has.
Grade: 7 out of 10

The Bottom Line: This should be a target if you're in need and in the area. Easy to get in and out, even though the bathroom is in the back. While there is only one stall, if it's free you can sing freebird while reading the sports section, even if you're a bit short and your feet don't quite reach the floor.

Punjabi Dhaba - Cambridge, MA

2006-11-18T00:29:00.000-05:00

Punjabi Dhaba: 4.5

Punjabi Dhaba is an Indian food joint located at 225 Hampshire Street in Inman Square. For those of you who are not nearly as cultured as The Shit Critic, find out more about what a Dhaba is here.

Location: After you walk through the front door, you'll need to take an immediate right and then head up a flight of stairs. Once upstairs the bathroom will be in front of you, but slightly to the left (think 11 o'clock). There are signs pointing you to the restroom, if those weren't there, you might be shit out of luck.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Accessibility: It's reasonably easy to walk in here and head up the stairs unnoticed. There is a seating area upstairs and if questioned by staff (which you won't be) it'd be pretty easy to say you were meeting someone up there.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Number of Stalls: There is one restroom here for everyone, containing one toilet and no urinals.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Stall Quality: The bathroom was pretty bare bones, there was a toilet brush, not in reach of the toilet, and probably untouched in a few years as well a can of Glade behind the medicine cabinet. Otherwise, not much to write home about.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Toiler Paper: Yeah, not so much.
Grade: 0 out of 10

Cleanliness: Bathroom was reasonably clean, but wasn't the cleanest room on the planet. I guess the room was naturally dirty, but didn't have a mess in it if that makes any sense...
Grade: 4 out of 10

Scent: Didn't notice a scent, though if you wanted there to be one, go nuts with the aforementioned Glade!
Grade: 8 out of 10

Flush: Normal flush, took a while to get going, but effective
Grade: 7 out of 10

Aesthetics: This bathroom wasn't too pretty. I did wonder what the view was our of the window behind it, which led me to wonder if the window were to be open, if I could somehow fall out. The toilet is also up one or two steps, giving it the throne vibe that I think is a bit cool yet bizarre.
Grade: 4 out of 10

The Bottom Line: Once you get up there, there's a chance the bathroom could be occupied. And with no urinal, you have to worry about a potential mess on the sea. And that's leaving out that there was no toilet paper. If there were TP, it'd be usable in a jam, but I guess you won't know if there is TP until you get all the way up the stairs and into the bathroom.

BRB

2006-10-19T14:21:00.000-04:00

Poopin' Around Town will be back with new updates shortly....

International House Of Pancakes - Brighton, MA

2006-10-10T21:25:00.000-04:00

International House Of Pancakes: 5.1

This IHOP located on Soldiers Field Road in Brighton. This is one of the 15 IHOP's in Massachusetts and the 1200 across the US and Canada. In case you're living under a rock, it's a breakfast food chain which specializes in pancakes and french toast. They also have various types of syrup.

Location: Once in the restaurant, the bathrooms are located back and to the right. Turn right past where the hostess stands and head past the set of booths immediately to your left. Once the row of booths stops, head to your left towards a staff area. The bathrooms are to the right. There are signs directing you, though it isn't the easiest to locate.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Accessibility: This is a pretty busy IHOP and is open 24 hours. There is generally a hostess, though she shouldn't be too tough to get by considering that it is a restaurant. Because of this it's a good candidate for a Drive By so to speak.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Number of Stalls: There is only one stall here which is a bit of a concern considering how many people can eat at IHOP. It is a full bathroom however, so it could be worse.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Stall Quality: Was a pretty standard and sizeable stall. There was a paper seat guard as an option which is a plus. There was also a garbage can handy if it were needed.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Toiler Paper: Standard toilet paper here, if you look at the picture above you'll get a glimpse for yourself. 2 ply paper, nothing unusual.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Cleanliness: It was pretty messy in there considering there was a garbage can. Nothing incredibly disgusting, just a lot of TP on the ground.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Scent: No scent here. There was an air freshener, though I couldn't verify whether it was functional or not.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Flush: Not too strong of a flush for a 6 LPF toilet. While it should be ok, I would not over do it with toilet paper.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Aesthetics: Very much the bathroom you'd expect at an IHOP. Nothing too fancy, no art or newspaper, just a place to go to the bathroom.
Grade: 5 out of 10

The Bottom Line: I wish there was another stall here considering how many people can cram in here at a peak time. As a counterpoint, it could be a solid late night option. Bathroom can definitely be cleaner and the flush is a bit weak.

The Breakfast Club - Allston, MA

2006-10-09T23:20:00.000-04:00

The Breakfast Club: 4.5

The Breakfast Club is located on Western Ave in Allston. It's a great breakfast spot, though it's only open until 2 PM. The breakfast is cheap, the food is good and the service is fast.

Location: The bathroom is located in the back right corner of the restaurant past the end of the counter.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Accessibility: During peak hours the line can go out the door making it tough to get through. As well, they're only open until 2 PM, so if it's after that, you're shit out of luck.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Number of Stalls: It's just a small room, not a stall. That being the case, there is only one place to go to the bathroom. If someone is already in there, you'll have nowhere to turn.
Grade: 2 out of 10

Stall Quality: One standard toilet with a sink located nearby. Very run of the mill. There was a scrubber nearby and also a trash can.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Toiler Paper: Unforutnately, there was no TP in the men's room. There was a closet outside of the bathroom that had a roll handy, but that's not going to be much help at that point, now is it?
Grade: 0 out of 10

Cleanliness: This bathroom was relatively clean and it should be considering it's a tiny room with a garbage can right there.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Scent: I doubt anyone had pooped in this bathroom too recently as no toilet paper. There wasn't much of an odor to notice otherwise.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Flush: This toilet had a reasonable flush, though i was not able to test it with anything worthwhile.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Aesthetics: Not this nicest bathroom, but far from disgusting
Grade: 5 out of 10

The Bottom Line: This bathroom isn't too high up on my list of options. The hours of operation really limit tthe potential usage of their facilities. As well, with the possibility that there will not be toliet paper there will make me want to look for better options. No one likes being left high and dry on the TP front (well, dry isn't the best word there).

The Sunset Cantina - Boston, MA

2006-10-06T22:39:00.000-04:00

The Sunset Cantina: 6.2

The Sunset Cantina is located on Commonwealth Ave just off the Pleasant St. T Stop. It's a restaurant with great food and a huge beer selection, though not as large as it's counterpart down the road on Brighton Ave.

Location: To get to the bathroom you'll have to walk all the way to the back of the restaurant. They're past the kitchen and main seating area, the sign is reasonably visible.
Grade: 5 out of 10

Accessibility: The only issue here is getting by a hostess, though I imagine you could go in as if you were meeting people already seated, shouldn't be too complex. Should be fairly easy to get to unless there's a huge crowd at the door or the hostess is a Nazi.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Number of Stalls: Only one stall here and considering how many people go to the restaurant, there should be at least one more.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Stall Quality: Stall is spacious and generally in good condition. It is worth noting that the toilet was unusually high. I'm about 5' 9" and my feet were dangling and not quite hitting the floor. Also the lock, while functional, was a bit tricky and took me a minute to get into the right position.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Stall at the Cantina. The door is on the right (the wall is not slanted).

Toiler Paper: Par for the course here. Two ply standard paper, just what you'd expect.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Cleanliness: Bathroom was clean, normal wear and tear. Almost every bathroom has a paper towel or two on the floor. There were two garbage cans in the bathroom. Patrons are just too lazy to clean up for themselves.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Scent: No real scent to mention here. There was an air freshener, though I'm not sure it was functional. Either way, no worries here.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Flush: Solid flush, I'd imagine 6 Liters/1.6 Gallons per, though the toilet did not say it's ratio on it as many do. Either way, this toilet will be able to take what you give it.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Aesthetics: This is a pretty plain bathroom that you can tell is a few years old. Not completely plain, but not aesthetically pleasing. Blah.
Grade: 6 out of 10

The Bottom Line: While this bathroom rates out as a 6.2, it's very usable. Most of the average grade comes from the bathroom only having one stall and being located very far back in the restaurant. There is definitely a chance that a line for the stall could leave you in a bind. If there isn't a wait, the Sunset Cantina is a viable option.

Paradise Rock Club - Boston, MA

2006-10-04T23:19:00.000-04:00

The Paradise Rock Club: 1.8

The Paradise Rock Club is located on Commonwealth Ave near the Babcock St. T Stop. It's a rock club with a capacity of around 700 in the main room and approximately 200 in the front room.

Location: The bathrooms are easiest accessed from the entrance way for the mainroom. Head straight and turn left before you pass the ticket window. The men's room is at the end of that hallway to the left. If you know where it is, it's easy, if not you might need to ask.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Accessibility: In theory you wouldn't need a ticket to the show in the main room. However, you'd have to show ID to get by the door guy as some nights are 21+. There might be a line to get in if there is a concert starting. As well, if it is not night time the box office is only open during certain hours.
Grade: 2 out of 10

Number of Stalls: Number of stalls: 2. There are two stalls and unless the urinals are occupied or people are vomiting, you should have pretty easy access to the stalls. More on this in a second. Normally this would be a 7 out of 10.
Grade: 0 out of 10

Stall Quality: THERE WAS NO TOILET SEAT IN EITHER STALL! REPEAT: THERE WAS NO TOILET SEAT IN EITHER STALL! So yeah, using these stalls is pretty much out of the question at the moment. I think that's all that needs to be said on the quality of these stalls
Grade: 0 out of 10

Stall One

Stall 2

Toiler Paper: In the event that you were to take the plunge here, literally or figuratively, there was toilet paper, though there isn't always. I actually know someone who had to use their sock as TP while getting down at the Dise once but I guess that's neither here nor there. Also, the toilet paper was out in the open and can easily fall on the ground and in the toilet. Pretty gross.
Grade: 2 out of 10

Cleanliness: As is the case with bathrooms in most rock clubs, it was not too clean. Lot of general mess everywhere.
Grade: 3 out of 10

Scent: Definitely a bit of a stench. If people are using the bathroom for the old #2, I don't know how, so I'm not quite sure where all the smell comes from. It's noticeable and unpleasant though not completely unbearable.
Grade: 4 out of 10

Flush: Flush was reasonable, but again you wont want to be in a situation where you'll want to use the toilet so it's grade will note that.
Grade: 0 out of 10

Aesthetics: They quite clearly don't care at all about their bathroom. Holes in the wall behind the toilet are just one example of this. There are many others, trust me.
Grade: 2 out of 10

The Bottom Line: Don't use the bathroom here if you need to poop. Even if you're checking out a band, the club generally allows re-entry as long as you have a wrist band. If you're in need, run out of the club at mach speed. I'll post a relatively decent option in the area in the near future.

Big City - Allston, MA

2006-10-02T23:33:00.000-04:00

Big City: 8.3

Big City is located just off the corner of Harvard Ave and Brighton Ave above The Sunset Grill. They have a great beer selection and an array of billiards and foosball tables. Alas it is a bar, so 21+ here.

Location: Once upstairs and in Big City, the restrooms are to your right. Couldn't be much easier to get to.
Grade: 10 out of 10

Accessibility: Outside of having to go up the stairs to get into Big City and likely having to show your ID, it'd be very easy to get into the bathroom unnoticed and without having to make a purchase. It's generally a busy place, very easy to blend in.
Grade: 9 out of 10

Number of Stalls: Two stalls here, both non-handicapped. I've never had a wait, though its possible that there would be one on a busy night.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Stall Quality: Both stalls are quite similar, a bit cramped but fairly reasonable all things considered. Once sitting, your arm will be close to the dispenser which gives a bit of a cramped feeling (unless that's another kind of cramped feeling). Stalls did have coat hangers, but otherwise were very run of the mill.
Grade: 6 out of 10

Big City Stall

Big City Toilet

Toiler Paper: Nothing special here, fairly industrial two ply. The dispensers were metallic and it wasn't easy to gauge how much was left, though that didn't seem to be much of a problem.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Cleanliness: Bathroom had standard wear and tear with paper towels on the floor and some water around the sink. There was a bunch of toilet paper in one of the stalls, though it was a slow night in the establishment and that shouldn't reflect too poorly on them. All in all, was pretty clean.
Grade: 7 out of 10

Scent: No noticeable odor here. There was a functional air freshener which was on a motion detector of sorts.
Grade: 8 out of 10

Flush: 6 Liters per flush here. Pretty standard for a restaurant in the city. Should be good to go.
Grade: 9 out of 10

Aesthetics: Big City seems to have put a good deal of effort into making their bathroom nice. There are a lot of nice beer signs and also small advertisements behind the toilets. The whole bathroom has more of a shiny black tile vibe which is different and nice. Sure there was some graffiti and the like, nothing too excessive.
Grade: 9 out of 10

Extra Credit:
Plunger: +1
Touch Free Hand Dryer: +1
Powerful Hand Dryer: +1

The Bottom Line: This is a very usable bathroom. I'd even go as far as to call it one of the better ones in Allston. If you're in the area and not sure you'll make it home, this is a good place to target. Only potential problem is if you're not 21.

The White Horse Tavern - Allston, MA

2006-10-01T23:23:00.000-04:00

The White Horse Tavern: 7.4

The White Horse Tavern is located on Brighton Ave in Allston between Packard's Corner and Harvard Ave. It's a relatively fratty restaurant/bar so if you were to need to use a bathroom, this is only an option if you are 21+.

Location: The Bathrooms are located in the back left corner of the restaurant behind the pool tables, works out pretty well, easy to get to.
Grade - 9 out of 10

Accessibility: You should be able to get to it without being forced to buy anything or noticed by the staff. Only catch is it's a bar, so 21+.
Grade - 9 out of 10

Number of Stalls: There are two stalls, one handicapped, one non-handicapped. I haven't had to wait, though it could happen.
Grade - 7 out of 10

Stall Quality: The handicapped stall is by far the better of the two with much more room. While the non-handicapped stall has better lighting (the light over the handicapped stall was out), the non-handicapped stall is very cramped. While sitting on the toilet, which slants slightly to the left of the stall, you arm will be pushed up against the toilet paper dispenser. The stalls have coat hangers which is a plus.
Grade - 6 out of 10

Non-Handicapped Stall

Handicapped Stall

Toilet Paper: Pretty standard two ply paper that is not particularly soft. The dispensers each have the ability to contain two large rolls. Running out didn't seem to be an issue.
Grade - 7 out of 10

Cleanliness: bathroom was relatively clean. There were a few paper towels on the floor, but nothing too crazy or dirty.
Grade - 7 out of 10

Scent: No particular smell here, which is a good thing. There seemed to be a device above the urinal which will spray something that smells nice though I'm not too sure it was operational. Bottom line is there was no bad smell which is better than most.
Grade - 8 out of 10

Flush: 6 Liters Per Flush. The flush was very solid, no real worries about it being able to handle the load.
Grade - 9 out of 10

Aesthetics: This is a pretty boring bathroom. No newspapers or interesting art. While it's in decent shape, the restaurant does not seem to put any effort into make it feel like home.
Grade - 5 out of 10

Bottom Line: All in all, this is a very viable option. Only hindrance is being of legal age. While it might not be the first place I'd go, it's far from the last. Big plus is being able to get over to the bathroom without having to make a purchase or have staff bother you.

Introduction

2006-10-01T20:34:00.000-04:00

Welcome to Poopin' Around Town. This blog is dedicated to bringing critical information to the general public about where to poop. On this site you'll find some real hard hitting information on where it is ok to #2 in public. The focus will be on Boston, MA and the surrounding area though reviews of stalls from around the country will make it on here. Let's face it, everyone runs into that uncomfortable situation and this site can guide you to where to get down to business in the best possible setting. Nothing worse than needing to poop, only to find a bathroom with no lock, or no toilet paper or a toilet that has a weak flush that will leave you in an awkward situation. Simply put, this is your guide to where to and where not to poop.